The golden age of spending eight hours a day pretending to "optimize legacy code" while actually watching sports highlights is officially dead.

Global tech giants have realized that a neural network can ignore user tickets twice as efficiently as any human workforce.

"Wah lau, I used to hire five people just to tell customers their internet is slow because they're stupid," said one local SME boss.

"Now, I just use a bot that says 'Have you tried restarting?' in seventeen different tones of robotic condescension."

Displaced workers are being told to "upskill," which is corporate-speak for "please go away and learn something we haven't figured out how to automate yet."

Local tech bros are sweating profusely, realizing their degrees in "Basic Java" are now as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

If a machine can generate ten thousand lines of code in the time it takes a human to take a smoke break, the humans are fucked.

Experts suggest these retrenched workers pivot to jobs AI cannot do, like being a useless middle-manager who takes credit for other people's work.

"In the end, it’s about productivity," sighed one developer.

"AI doesn't need lunch breaks, medical leave, or a soul. CCB."