The ASEAN Petroleum Security Agreement (APSA) has successfully maintained its 20-year streak of being completely fucking useless.

Despite the Middle East burning like a budget crematorium, regional leaders confirmed that the emergency sharing pact remains strictly theoretical.

It is basically the geopolitical equivalent of a group of friends promising to split the bill, only for everyone to suddenly realize they "forgot their wallet" when the waiter arrives.

"We are 100% committed to regional cooperation," explained one official while frantically padlocking his country’s last reserve of crude oil.

"In a real crisis, we will definitely think about maybe talking about sharing, provided we have an infinite surplus and you pay us in pure gold."

The voluntary nature of the pact ensures that when the lights go out, every kiasu neighbor will immediately block the pipes and pretend they don’t know who you are.

The proposed ASEAN Power Grid is also making great progress, currently consisting of a 50-meter extension cord trailing out of a window in Bangkok and a prayer.

Limpeh is not sharing a single watt of electricity while you’re still blasting the air-con like a siao lang.

If the fuel runs out, just go buy a torchlight and shut the fuck up.