After being flattened into a human prata by a drunk driver treating Tampines like the Marina Bay Street Circuit, Mahmud Azmani Fikri has made a courageous return to the roads.

While most people would avoid motorbikes after having their spinal cord rearranged like a game of Jenga, Mahmud realized that a 169kmh collision is far less painful than the gaze of an MRT auntie.

The 28-year-old revealed that sitting in a priority seat with hidden injuries is the supreme social sin in Singapore.

“The drunk driver only broke my legs, but the auntie in the East-West Line cabin looked at me like I personally devalued her HDB flat,” Mahmud explained while polishing the industrial-grade screws holding his neck together.

Medical experts confirmed that Mahmud is now 40% hardware, officially making him the most expensive piece of scrap metal currently traversing the PIE.

Despite the trauma of being turned into a sandwich between two sedans, the victim insists that the risk of decapitation is better than the smell of a crowded train during peak hour.

Authorities have praised the move, noting that a biker with a metal rod in his leg provides excellent structural reinforcement for any future multi-vehicle pile-ups.

Mahmud remains optimistic about his future as a semi-autonomous cyborg, provided he stays away from large magnets and LTA enforcement officers.