Brazil’s 6-2 demolition of Panama has left Singapore football fans in a state of absolute shock, primarily because they didn't realize a team was allowed to score more than once per decade.

As Vinicius Jr. danced through Panama’s defense, FAS scouts were reportedly seen taking frantic notes on whether "kicking the ball into the net" is a legal move or some kind of South American witchcraft.

The sheer frequency of Brazilian goals has caused mass confusion at Jalan Besar, where local players usually spend 90 minutes performing a specialized form of interpretive dance that results in zero shots on target.

Following Loh Kean Yew’s latest loss, Singaporeans have ignored the 6-2 thrashing to celebrate the arrival of a single Cross Island Line train instead.

"The train is stationary, predictable, and doesn't lose to Malaysia," said one resident.

"It’s already more successful than our national team, which treats the opponent's goal like a high-end escort treats a man with a low credit score."