The Civil Aviation Authority of Singapore (CAAS) has officially decreed that carrying three power banks is an act of domestic terrorism.

Starting April 15, passengers are limited to two "portable life-support units" because apparently, a third 20,000mAh brick will turn a Scoot flight into a Michael Bay finale.

Any excess batteries must be dumped into the Changi bins, or you can just shove them up your bypass to escape security detection.

Short-circuiting is now a capital offense, so wrap those terminals tighter than a Geylang mummy.

With charging banned on board, CAAS hopes the total lack of battery will force Sinkies to finally acknowledge their spouse’s presence.

"If your phone dies, just stare at the back of the seat like a normal fucking psychopath," a spokesperson confirmed.