The *David Hockney: Bigger & Closer (not smaller & further away)* exhibition at Gardens by the Bay, Singapore, is proving so "immersive" that authorities are now concerned about public productivity. Visitors are reportedly entering a trance-like state, captivated by the towering projections of California pools and Yorkshire landscapes, neglecting vital errands.

An anonymous official from the Ministry of Public Entertainment Oversight stated, "While we appreciate cultural enrichment, we cannot have citizens abandoning their queue numbers for an artist's decades of work. There are hawker stalls to patronise."

"Wah, this Hockney art very shiok, but after one hour I also forgot to collect my clothes from the laundry. So immersive until like that!" exclaimed Mdm Tan, 68, from Bedok.

Dr. Lee Wei Ling, a cultural studies expert from the Institute of Advanced Staring, added, "The sheer scale of Hockney's oeuvre has inadvertently triggered a mass existential crisis, with some contemplating whether their own six decades have been as 'productive' or 'splashy'."

Efforts are underway to install digital timers and gentle reminders within the IMBA Theatre, ensuring visitors remember to re-enter reality and, more importantly, beat the evening peak hour traffic.