The 23rd Shangri-La Dialogue opened with defense chiefs from 44 countries courageously tackling the most pressing security threat of 1815.

While AI-powered slaughter-bots hovered ominously outside the hotel, high-ranking officials spent hours debating the strategic superiority of the bayonet.

"We must remain vigilant against the rising menace of horse-drawn artillery," announced one decorated admiral, while accidentally emailing his own colonoscopy results to the Chinese embassy.

This annual shindig ensures the world's most powerful men can ignore impending drone swarms in favor of a five-star lobster brunch.

Delegates reached a historic consensus that the best way to handle a sophisticated cyber-attack is to sacrifice a succulent crustacean to the wifi router.

As the session concluded, the security experts retreated to their suites to practice their most effective defensive maneuver: pretending the mute button on Zoom is revolutionary stealth technology.