Singaporeans are reportedly preparing for the impending 15% US tariff by… well, buying things online. Deputy Prime Minister Gan Kim Yong’s announcement of the likely tariff increase from the US has sent ripples of, primarily, online shopping frenzy across the island nation. The move, initiated by the US under Section 122, threatens to make imported goods marginally pricier, a concept utterly foreign to the savvy Singaporean consumer.

An anonymous Singapore government official, speaking from behind a barricade of online shopping parcels, stated, “We are exploring all avenues to mitigate the impact, including bulk purchasing entire container ships of discounted goods before the tariffs hit. It’s a bold strategy, but someone has to ensure our citizens don’t pay extra for their artisanal sourdough starters.”

Meanwhile, local auntie Mdm Tan, 68, was spotted refreshing Shopee. “Aiyah, 15 per cent more for my Taobao haul? Cannot make it lah! Better buy now before everything become so expensive. Later no money for kopi-o,” she lamented, adding three more phone covers to her cart. Experts predict a surge in "pre-tariff panic buying" as the nation gears up for the new economic reality.