Former SIA golden boy Campbell Wilson has finally fucked off from Air India.

He realized that "Singapore Girl" hospitality can’t fix a fleet that hasn't seen a wrench since the nineties.

After overseeing planes flying without airworthiness certificates, Wilson decided his notice period was best spent not inside a screaming fireball.

SIA’s 25% stake has officially become the most expensive way for Singapore to sponsor a 260-person snuff film.

“I tried everything,” Wilson allegedly muttered while sprinting toward the Changi transit lounge.

“I even gave the pilots Batik-print ties, but apparently, you actually need engines to stay in the sky.”

He returns home with zero fucks and several pending lawsuits.