The peregrine falcon chick found dead at UOB Plaza was identified as the latest victim of the CBD’s toxic work culture.

Witnesses report the fledgling was bullied by senior crows who didn’t like its "strawberry" attitude and lack of OT commitment.

After failing to secure an internship at OCBC, the bird crashed into a window because it couldn't handle the literal glass ceiling.

NParks urged other fledglings to stop being "pussies" and fly better to survive the meritocratic hunger games.

"The bird had zero resilience and probably would’ve asked for WFH anyway," said one CBD uncle while huffing a vape.

The carcass was cleared to make way for another useless bubble tea pop-up.