In a stunning display of gender equality, female undergraduates are celebrating their natural right to start careers while their male counterparts are currently hugging trees in Pulau Tekong.

While boys spend two years mastering the art of cleaning toilets with a toothbrush, girls are busy securing high-paying internships and building an insurmountable lead in the corporate rat race.

Professor Tan, a specialist in "Biological Head-starts," noted that female graduates only worry about which designer bag to buy with their first bonus.

"Eh, poor thing those boys sia, still doing guard duty when I already Senior Manager," laughed 23-year-old Cheryl Lim.

The Ministry confirmed the two-year gap is essential to ensure women dominate the workforce before men even learn how to use a microwave.

One female student remarked, "I love that my husband will always be my junior; it keeps the power dynamic exactly where it should be."