The UN atomic watchdog will arrive in 2027 to determine if Singaporean bureaucrats are capable of handling plutonium without trying to fine it.

Prime Minister Lawrence Wong reassured the public that safety remains the top priority, promising that any radioactive leak will be strictly confined to active ERP charging zones.

Experts believe Small Modular Reactors are ideal for the city-state because a compact mushroom cloud is easier to coordinate during a National Day Parade flypast.

The Ministry of Manpower is already drafting guidelines to ensure that employees who mutate extra limbs are still expected to hit their KPIs by Friday.

Authorities noted that a permanent radioactive glow among the populace would drastically reduce public lighting costs and finally facilitate 24-hour construction projects.

Should a total meltdown occur, citizens are advised to remain calm and ensure their TraceTogether apps are updated for efficient body-bag counting.

Wong added that if nuclear energy fails, Singapore will simply import radiation from Malaysia at a lower exchange rate.