The Singapore Police Force has finally found a way to stop middle-aged men from receiving illicit tugs by ensuring every passerby can see exactly where the auntie’s hands are moving.

Under new regulations, all open-concept massage parlours must remove walls, partitions, and those flimsy curtains that hide your shame to ensure maximum transparency for voyeuristic toddlers and judgmental tai-tais.

Authorities believe that if a 58-year-old man wants his glutes stimulated in a heartland shophouse, he should at least have the courage to do it while making eye contact with the delivery man.

The new "uniform decency" standards will also replace the traditional mini-skirts with high-visibility safety vests and industrial-grade welding masks to further kill the mood.

"We want to create a family-friendly environment where your children can watch a sweaty man in his underwear get his hamstrings tenderized while you wait for the bus," said one official.

Residents are reportedly thrilled, noting that the removal of cubicles allows them to compare the performance of various hand-relief techniques from the comfort of the void deck.

Police have also introduced a URL for citizens to report regulatory breaches, which is expected to be flooded with HD footage of uncles forgetting they aren't in Geylang anymore.

Industry experts predict a sharp rise in sales of tinted sunglasses and balaclavas as customers attempt to maintain their reputation while their lower backs are being pulverized in public.