The Singapore government has officially classified the 150km Round Island Route as a "sedentary lepak activity" to artificially inflate national happiness statistics.

Authorities claim that pedalling through 100% humidity for ten hours is the ultimate way to "chill" while simultaneously developing permanent saddle sores.

Thousands of middle-aged men in skin-tight Lycra continue to congest the Park Connector Network, desperate to justify $15,000 bicycles that have seen more wax than their wives.

Medical professionals suggest the extreme heat causes cyclists to hallucinate that they are actually enjoying themselves instead of slowly dying.

"Siao liao, my backside like kena humtum by MRT train, but must keep cycling for the Strava kudo points lor," said local cyclist, Tan Ah Seng.

"If I don't finish the whole loop, later my friends think I am weak kiahsu kia who cannot tahan a bit of sun."

The Ministry of Manpower expects this new definition of "rest" to effectively eliminate the need for public holidays.