The Ministry of Education has declared that all unused SkillsFuture credits will be forcefully redirected towards a new "National Public Flogging" certification.

With billions in taxpayer funds gathering dust, officials decided that if citizens refuse to learn coding, they shall learn the art of the rotan.

"Eh, I thought I save the money for retirement, but now gahmen say must learn how to cane people correctly," complained local uncle, Lim Kopi.

"Last time I want to take flower arrangement course but now I must learn how to aim for the backside," he added while sighing.

The government confirmed that those who fail to spend their credits by midnight will be automatically enrolled in "Advanced Stoicism Under Torture."

"Aiyoh, so troublesome one, might as well just let them take the money and buy more surveillance cameras," remarked another disgruntled resident.

Education officials insist that "upskilling" includes the physical ability to endure state-mandated discipline without making a scene.