A mid-range Hyundai SUV attempted to end its mediocre life by self-immolating at a Caltex station in Balestier.

Witnesses say the vehicle’s engine compartment burst into flames after realizing it would spend its entire existence stuck in PIE traffic.

“Siao liao, the car straight away go BBQ mode, I thought was Balestier Bak Kut Teh smell,” remarked one nearby uncle.

A pump attendant reportedly approached the inferno with the soul-crushing indifference of a man who hasn't had a pay raise since 2004.

The SCDF arrived to extinguish the flames, though the owner’s dignity remains a total loss.

Investigators suspect the fire was a desperate protest against the rising cost of being alive in this godforsaken city.