New Delhi has announced a massive port project on Great Nicobar, strategically located 40 nautical miles from the Malacca Strait to ensure Singapore’s maritime supremacy is eventually murdered.

Branded as an “unsinkable carrier,” the project aims to counter China’s naval ambitions while making the Port of Singapore Authority look like a glorified longkang.

Local experts are already panicking that this “hub” will steal all the massive container ships, leaving Pasir Panjang with nothing but stray cats and rusty anchors.

Our top generals reportedly spent the morning staring intensely at a map, trying to figure out if we can reclaim enough sand to physically block the Nicobar Islands.

Meanwhile, Beijing is reportedly building a “very sinkable” artificial reef right on top of it just to be annoying.

If history teaches us anything, naming a massive naval project “unsinkable” is the most efficient way to invite a giant tsunami or a very motivated iceberg.