Indonesia has decided that having a functioning economy is far less important than ensuring every SUV driver can floor it for the price of a curry puff.

While Singaporeans sell their souls to pay $3.40 per litre, Jakarta is burning 500 billion rupiah a day just to keep the vibes high.

Economists are screaming about a "budgetary catastrophe," but the government is too busy huffing subsidized fumes to care about "national bankruptcy."

Luxury car owners are reportedly weeping with joy as they fill their tanks with fuel cheaper than a bottle of mineral water.

Local authorities confirmed that building roads is a useless endeavor if you can’t afford the petrol to drive on them anyway.

The plan is to keep subsidies running until the treasury is as empty as a Singaporean’s heart on a Monday morning.

Meanwhile, ministers suggest that if the money runs out, they can simply use the devalued rupiah as toilet paper at high-end galas.