Global Academica International has unveiled its 2024 fee structure, officially transitioning from bank transfers to mandatory organ harvesting for all Year 1 applicants.

The school’s new "Limb-for-Learning" policy ensures that while your child masters Mandarin, you will be mastering life with a single lung.

"Wa lau, last time only need to sell house, now must give liver also?" said parent Tan Ah Kow, while bleeding out in the admissions office.

"But the canteen got organic kale and five-hundred-dollar avocado toast, so worth it lor!"

Administrators confirmed that parents who cannot provide fresh organs may opt for a "Long-Term Servitude" plan, essentially becoming the school’s human footstools for the next twelve years.

"If the parent dies, no problem, we just take the insurance payout to fund the new Olympic-sized gold-plated bidet system," added Headmaster Sterling Richman.