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Singapore Slurp: Iran To Sell Uranium On Carousell To Bypass US Blockade
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Iran To Sell Uranium On Carousell To Bypass US Blockade

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Sarah Lim
Monday 11th May 2026 @ 08:08 SST
ðŸĪŠ1,195

Iran has offered to ship its highly enriched uranium to a third country, and local authorities are already clearing out a 24-hour self-storage unit in Jurong West to make space.

Tehran confirmed the radioactive material would be sent via NinjaVan, provided the US doesn't leave a "one-star review" on their nuclear program.

Singaporeans have welcomed the news, hoping that having tons of weapon-grade isotopes nearby might finally lower the SP Group electricity tariffs.

"If the stuff leaks and we grow extra limbs, we can work two jobs simultaneously," said one private hire driver.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump has dismissed the deal, claiming he only accepts uranium if it comes in a gold-plated bucket or as a free gift with a $500 spend at a casino.

The Ministry of Home Affairs reminded citizens that while radioactive glow-in-the-dark skin is trendy, it does not exempt anyone from Reservist.

This satire is based on a real news story.

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