The Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) has effectively annexed the entire nation of Japan after the yen crashed so hard it is now officially cheaper to buy a house in Kyoto than a box of blueberries at Cold Storage.

Thousands of kiasu Singaporeans have been spotted at The Arcade money changers, physically assaulting one another to exchange fifty bucks for enough yen to buy a three-storey office building in downtown Shinjuku.

Local aunties are reportedly using 1,000-yen notes as makeshift napkins at hawker centres because the paper quality is higher than the cheap tissue they usually dab their oily mouths with.

“I went to Tokyo for lunch and accidentally bought the entire Shibuya crossing because I had an extra ten dollars in my pocket,” said one local man who usually struggles to afford a basic set meal at Funan.

Economists suggest that at this rate, the Japanese Emperor will be forced to report directly to the Singapore Cabinet and personally deliver piping hot ramen to every HDB flat by the end of 2026.

Airlines have reported a total collapse of the local workforce as every office worker in the CBD has collectively decided to quit and live like feudal lords in Hokkaido on their remaining savings.

The yen’s spectacular faceplant has turned the entire Japanese population into Singapore’s personal customer service department, where a polite bow now costs approximately 0.00004 cents.

Even the local pigeons at Toa Payoh are considering migrating to Osaka because the exchange rate allows them to eat premium wagyu scraps instead of discarded bread crusts.

MAS officials have warned that if the yen drops any further, Singapore might accidentally buy the entire Pacific Ocean just to see if it fits in a giant Tupperware.

“Wa seh, it is so cheap I don’t even look at the price tag anymore, I just throw the money at the Japanese cashier and tell her to keep the change and the whole building,” shouted one uncle while boarding a flight with sixteen empty suitcases.

The Japanese government has since requested that Singaporeans stop trying to pay for 7-Eleven onigiri with their leftover Singpass points.