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Singapore Slurp: JB Customs Officers Confused By Legions Of Expressionless Singaporean Women
Char Bor

JB Customs Officers Confused By Legions Of Expressionless Singaporean Women

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Jian Li
Wednesday 13th May 2026 @ 06:00 SST
πŸ€ͺ1,021

Thousands of Singaporean women are currently undergoing a mandatory physical transformation that renders their faces as rigid as the concrete pillars of the Tuas Second Link.

Seeking the thrill of a bargain and the structural integrity of a Lego figurine, these beauty pilgrims flock to Johor Bahru to have industrial-grade toxins injected directly into their nervous systems by practitioners whose primary qualification is owning a sharp object.

Local socialite Cheryl Tan, whose forehead hasn't moved since the SARS outbreak, claims the three-hour jam is worth the sensation of having one’s skin stretched tighter than a drum.

β€œAiya, Singapore side so expensive, better go JB and let them poke until I look like plastic barbie doll lor,” said Cheryl, attempting to smile but only managing a slight, panicked twitch in her left earlobe.

β€œMy husband say I look like horror movie ghost, but I tell him shut up, at least my skin can reflect the sun like a CBD office building.”

Customs officers have reportedly started using spatulas to pry open the mouths of travellers who can no longer articulate their passport details due to excessive, bargain-bin cheek fillers.

Despite the risk of looking like a waxwork exhibit left in a microwave, the desire to look perpetually startled remains the ultimate national status symbol.

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