A Kelantan man has proven that chivalry isn’t dead, even if his date is, by putting more effort into a first meeting than most people put into a ten-year marriage.

While Singaporeans whine about dates who "forget" their wallets, this Malaysian overachiever expressed his feelings with 61 enthusiastic stabs, ensuring there would definitely be no awkward "where is this going" conversation later.

Malaysian authorities described the incident as a "crime of passion," which is a lovely euphemism for having absolutely no personality besides a kitchen knife collection.

The suspect even spent hours washing his car afterwards, displaying a level of cleanliness and commitment to household chores that most local mothers can only dream of.

Activists are calling for more data on "femicide," but it’s hard to track statistics when the primary cause of death is simply "meeting a guy from the internet."

Next time you get ghosted on an app, just be thankful your date didn't try to turn you into a human colander.