Ministry of Education officials have reportedly celebrated news of widespread brain stunting across the region.

“This is a massive win for our local students who can barely solve math problems about watermelons,” said one high-ranking civil servant.

Local Kiasu mothers are already petitioning to ensure no stunted children are ever allowed to compete in the International Math Olympiad.

“If their brains stop growing, my son finally has a chance to be the smartest person in the room,” commented one mother while tossing a textbook at her toddler.

Experts suggest that a stunted brain is actually more suited for the repetitive, soul-crushing corporate life at a local SME.

The government is considering importing these “low-maintenance” brains to fill positions in the civil service.

Apparently, a stunted brain is still 40% more functional than anyone currently managing the train system.

At least these kids won’t grow up to ask for a pay rise.