The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that the sonic boom generated by a Kopitiam Auntie shouting for "Kopi-O" is now Singapore’s primary deterrent against foreign invasion.

Scientists discovered that her vocal cords produce a frequency capable of liquefying internal organs within a five-metre radius of the cai fan stall.

"Wah lau, her voice really power sia, even the pigeon also scared to fly near her stall," noted witness Tan Beng Kiat while wiping sweat with a dirty napkin.

The strategic implementation of 'choping' has also been upgraded to a capital offence, punishable by forced labour in a non-air-conditioned hawker centre.

"I put my tissue there already, you still want to sit? You siao is it?" screamed a local retiree while aggressively brandishing a half-eaten kaya toast.

Citizens are advised to approach all beverage stalls with extreme caution and a valid insurance policy against permanent hearing damage.