The Singapore Armed Forces has once again successfully transformed thousands of high-functioning professionals into absolute, mouth-breathing liabilities.

During the latest high-key ICT at Sungei Gedong, witnesses observed a Senior Vice President of a multinational bank fail to operate a basic velcro strap.

"Eh, how to use this field dressing ah? My brain like rot already sia," said Corporal (NS) Tan, who usually manages a fifty-million-dollar portfolio.

The transformation is part of the SAF’s secret strategy to ensure that no reservist feels any sense of competence while wearing a pixelated uniform that smells like a wet dog's crotch.

Command effectiveness reached a peak yesterday when a Captain attempted to call for artillery support but accidentally ordered forty packets of bee hoon instead.

"Lanjiao, the encik keep shouting but I only thinking about where to go for siam diu after book out," muttered one Trooper while hiding behind a bush.

SAF officials confirmed that the primary goal of Reservist is not combat readiness, but rather to see how many fat uncles can fit into a single smoke-break corner.

"Steady lah, as long as can siat biang and keng until ICT end, I happy already," Tan added.