At the Singapore Expo, thousands of grown men with thinning hairlines are currently swapping thick wads of cash for pictures of fictional Japanese monsters.

James, a 31-year-old "investor," just dropped $17,500 on a shiny Gengar card, proving his financial literacy is limited to things that sparkle.

“It’s a store of value,” James explained, while clutching a plastic slab that provides zero protection against his impending status as a lifelong virgin.

The market is so hot that the Singapore Police Force is investigating whether “Pokeflation” is just a creative way to wash illicit funds.

Apparently, a holographic Charizard is now a more stable asset than the Singapore Dollar.

Actual children are being shoved aside at Leisure Park Kallang by sweaty tech bros who treat expansion packs like high-yield offshore accounts.

If you see a man weeping near a vending machine, he just realized a Monet painting costs less than a Mario Pikachu.