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Singapore Slurp: Local GEP Prodigy Successfully Transitions Into A Potted Plant
Tuition Nation

Local GEP Prodigy Successfully Transitions Into A Potted Plant

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Chloe Ong
Thursday 14th May 2026 @ 06:00 SST
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The Ministry of Education has hailed 10-year-old Ethan Lim as a pioneer after he successfully entered a permanent catatonic state following his latest GEP screening.

Officials claim this "cognitive vacation" is the natural evolution of the Singaporean meritocracy, allowing the brain to cool down after processing three lifetimes of assessment books.

Ethan’s mother expressed her immense frustration at the sudden lack of certificates to laminate for her Facebook feed.

β€œAiyah, last time he can solve quadratic equation in nursery, now he only know how to stare at wall and drool,” she lamented while browsing tuition brochures.

β€œWaste so much money on intensive brain-boosting classes, then now he decide to become one organic paperweight, damn rugi lah!”

MOE spokespeople reassured parents that a comatose child still counts towards national literacy rates as long as they are propped up against a dictionary.

Plans are currently underway to introduce "Advanced Blinking" as a new PSLE elective for students who have forgotten how to speak.

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