A local man has been hailed as a pioneer of absolute stupidity after commuting from Tuas to Changi just to eat a lukewarm burger.

While thousands of sane residents avoid the East like a plague zone, 29-year-old Tan Ah Kow spent three hours on the MRT to reach Jewel.

“The air-con there is more premium, and the waterfall make the nuggets taste like five-star hotel,” Tan explained while clutching a soggy paper bag.

“In Tuas only got industrial smell, but here I can pretend I got money to fly overseas, even though my bank account is zero.”

Civil engineers are reportedly baffled by Tan’s commitment to burning more calories commuting than he consumed in processed fats.

“Everything same-same what, why you so kiasu must go airport?” asked his mother, who disowned him shortly after.

Government officials are now considering a "Common Sense" tax for anyone entering the airport without a boarding pass.