
Local Mother Holds Funeral For Son Taking Six-Month Gap Year
A Bukit Timah family has officially declared their eldest son deceased after he expressed a desire to "find himself" rather than join a global investment bank.
The Ministry of Manpower immediately revoked his work pass eligibility, citing a "catastrophic failure of the national productivity index."
"I already prepare the wake and invite the relatives, because my son is legally ghost already," wailed his mother, Mdm Siew.
"Go Thailand find what soul? You go there only find mosquito and sunburnt, better stay home and clear CFA Level 1 lah!"
Neighbours were seen offering condolences and burning paper resumes to ensure the boy’s spirit has better career prospects in the afterlife than on Earth.
Psychiatrists confirmed that "exploring one's passions" is the primary symptom of a rare, terminal brain rot known as "Not-In-The-Office Syndrome."
Government officials have reminded citizens that any gap in a CV longer than a toilet break is technically considered high treason.
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