A River Valley pedestrian has successfully unlocked "Main Character Energy" by assuming her sweaty palm can stop a speeding 2-ton metal box.

The woman was seen jaywalking like a fucking boss at Mohamed Sultan Road, armed only with a judgmental stare and a hand gesture usually reserved for ordering teh-o-peng.

Science suggests the woman truly believed the Road Traffic Act is merely a suggestion for people who don't shop at Cold Storage.

"I raised my hand, so the laws of physics are legally obligated to fuck off," the pedestrian didn't say, but definitely thought.

LTA is now considering replacing all traffic lights with holograms of middle-aged women looking pissed off.

Meanwhile, the Stomper is reportedly still wanking to his own dashcam footage of the minor inconvenience.