A local woman has successfully secured a spot for her left ovary at a prestigious Bukit Timah nursery.

Pre-school administrators confirmed the new "Pre-Zygote Priority Scheme" now accounts for 90% of their 2035 intake.

"Wah lau, wait until baby out then apply is already late siao," said prospective mother Mrs. Tan.

"I sign up early so the egg can start learning phonics inside my body lah, don't waste time."

The Ministry of Education has praised the move, suggesting that embryos lacking a PhD by the second trimester are essentially economic dead weight.

Tuition centres have already begun selling waterproof assessment books for foetuses to ensure they survive the nursery entrance interview.

"If the egg not bilingual before ovulation, it is trash already lor," Principal Lim added.