The Singapore government successfully averted a total collapse of society last week by stopping 300 motorcyclists in Woodlands to ensure nobody was having a decent time.

In a multi-agency display of dominance, the Traffic Police, LTA, and NEA teamed up like a low-budget version of the Avengers to hunt down the most dangerous criminals in the country: guys with loud exhausts.

While the police arrested 10 people for riding without a license, the real excitement came from the LTA officers who spent the night measuring the exact angle of license plates with the intensity of a surgeon performing a heart transplant.

One LTA officer reportedly had to be excused for a cigarette break after achieving a full-body climax upon discovering a "decorative lamp" hidden under a bike seat.

"Seeing those unauthorized blue LEDs makes my kuku jiao harder than a POFMA order," the officer whispered while scribbling a fine that costs more than the rider’s entire family lineage.

The NEA also stayed busy by issuing 44 summonses for "excessive noise," because the only thing allowed to be loud in Singapore is the sound of construction at 3 AM or a boomer complaining about service staff.

Authorities emphasized that having a valid license is one thing, but having a "decorative light" is a direct middle finger to the very fabric of our clean and green garden city.

"If we allow one person to have a glowing blue rim, by next week the whole of Admiralty Road West will look like a fucking disco in Geylang," a spokesperson said while vibrating with bureaucratic rage.

Foreign-registered vehicles were also reminded that they must comply with Singapore laws, which primarily consist of paying money to the government for the privilege of existing.

The 10 arrested riders face up to three years in jail, which is exactly the amount of time required to scrub the memory of ever wanting to be a "cool" biker from their brains.

The other 290 riders were eventually let go, though most of them now suffer from chronic anxiety every time they see a man in a high-visibility vest.

"It’s not about the money or the safety," the operation commander concluded.

"It’s about reminding every single person on two wheels that we can, and will, ruin your night just because we have the manpower to do it."