LTA has officially confirmed that the recent spate of mysterious Circle Line delays is actually a mandatory "resilience test" designed to crush the human spirit.

Transport officials revealed that the intermittent signal faults are caused by the ghost of a disgruntled engineer haunting the tunnels for higher pay.

Commuters at Serangoon were seen weeping as the arrival board displayed "99 minutes" before spontaneously combusting.

"Siao ah, I wait until my beard long like Santa Claus already, still no train," complained commuter Tan Ah Huat.

"The staff tell me 'steady lah bro' then hide in the office to eat his nasi lemak."

LTA suggests that passengers who cannot handle the delays should simply purchase a private jet or stop being poor.

Efficiency is now officially classified as a premium subscription service.