The Ministry of Transport has officially rebranded horrific road fatalities as "spontaneous urban lifestyle adjustments."

Following reports that accidents frequently lead to divorce and severe mental trauma, the government announced a new "Triple Threat" package for families looking to spice up their mundane routines.

"Why pay for a lawyer when you can simply have your femur shattered by a cement truck and let the resulting marital stress handle the separation paperwork?" asked one LTA spokesperson while polishing a bloodied plastic bag.

Citizens are encouraged to view their crushed limbs not as medical emergencies, but as unique, artisanal conversation starters at future funerals.

Statistics show that the 149 deaths in 2025 provided the perfect opportunity for surviving relatives to finally update their social media with something more interesting than a weekend brunch.

Tan Tock Seng Hospital confirmed that their trauma ward is now being marketed as an "Immersive 4D Zombie Experience" for schoolboys who find Primary 6 science classes too boring.

One local driver noted that losing both legs was a small price to pay for the "uninterrupted peace" of a medically induced coma, safely away from his boss’s constant WhatsApp messages.

The "Death, Trauma, Divorce" trifecta is being touted as the ultimate productivity hack for those who want to leave the workforce permanently without filling out resignation letters.