The Land Transport Authority has deployed "Audio Snipers" to eliminate the scourge of commuters broadcasting tinny K-pop through their $2 Daiso earbuds.

Officers will now monitor MRT carriages for sound leakage, ready to taser anyone whose "sick beats" breach the 0.5-decibel threshold of human tolerance.

"Wah lau, his earphone so loud I thought I was at Zouk club sia, luckily LTA uncle come and whack him," noted passenger Boy-Boy Lim.

Convicted offenders must surrender their smartphones and spend their commute listening to a high-definition recording of a crying toddler on a loop.

The government insists that if you want the public to hear your trashy techno, you should just buy a COE and blast it in a car like a proper elitist.