The Southern Ridges, Singapore’s premier outdoor gym for people who despise actual nature, has officially been annexed by its primate overlords.

A particularly aggressive long-tailed macaque has successfully claimed the entire Henderson Waves canopy as his private real estate portfolio.

"Walau eh, I just want take OOTD only then this monkey come and snatch my designer bag like he own the place," complained influencer Cheryl Lim.

Park visitors are now advised to treat the macaques with more respect than their domestic helpers or risk being pelted with half-eaten fruits and pure primate spite.

"The monkey tell me 'Eh hello, this one my grandfather road ah, you want pass must give 10% of your bubble tea'," reported a traumatised jogger.

NParks has responded by installing more signs, because as everyone knows, Singaporean wildlife is legally obligated to follow the law.