The National Environment Agency has confirmed that Singaporeans can once again enjoy the traditional Malaysian export of airborne charcoal.

Following massive forest fires in Pengerang, Johor is providing a complimentary, 24-hour full-body barbecue experience for all local residents.

"Wah lau, usually they only share their cheap petrol, now want to share their house fire also," complained local delivery rider, Ah Hock.

"Cannot see the road properly, KNN, I thought I was getting cataract, but actually is just Malaysia being generous again."

While Johor firefighters struggle to extinguish the 150-hectare blaze, Singaporeans are advised to simply stop breathing until the wind changes.

NEA maintains that the PSI remains "moderate," which in civil service speak means your lungs will only feel slightly like a dirty ashtray.