Allan, a local man with the backbone of a cooked bean sprout, has officially invited the public to rob him twice.

After losing his Fossil wallet at Paya Lebar, Allan announced that the finder can keep the $80 inside and collect an additional $50 reward.

This revolutionary business model ensures that any opportunistic thief is properly compensated for the manual labor of bending over.

Allan claims the wallet holds "sentimental value," likely because it’s the only thing left of a relationship that died years ago.

He is also desperate to recover his lottery tickets, because his only hope for the future is a random number generator.

Authorities remind citizens that being a "good person" shouldn't involve paying a fucking ransom for your own IC.