Singaporean citizens are reportedly upgrading their survival skills by braving 50-degree humidity and feral pigeons just to eat lukewarm laksa.

The National Environment Agency has confirmed that "chope-ing" with a single 10-cent tissue pack now constitutes a legal land claim.

"Eh, I put my packet there already, you blind is it? This one my grandfather land, go away lah!" shouted local resident Tan Ah Kow.

Health officials noted that the sweat dripping from a stall owner’s forehead into the soup is the "secret ingredient" that justifies the three-hour queue.

Patrons are encouraged to ignore the rats performing synchronised swimming in the drains while enjoying their Michelin-starred floor-scrapings.

"The rat very cute what, he also need to eat, don't so kiasu can or not?" remarked one satisfied customer.