
Mandai Pandas Refuse Sexual Intercourse Without Guaranteed Permanent Residency
Kai Kai and Jia Jia, Singapore’s most expensive unproductive expats, have announced a total strike on all romantic activities.
Despite living in a climate-controlled luxury suite that costs more to maintain than a Sentosa bungalow, the pandas remain unimpressed.
The pair have reportedly submitted a list of demands including organic wagyu-infused bamboo and a private butler.
"Wah lau, everyday eat same thing, no standard one," Kai Kai allegedly grunted while scratching his groin.
"You think I so cheap ah? Give me 5-star buffet first then we talk about making baby."
Zookeeper Ah Huat noted that the pandas have become so entitled they now refuse to acknowledge the public without a performance fee.
"They just stay in air-con room and look at us like we are the animals," he lamented.
The government is reportedly considering replacing the pair with more cost-effective, high-performing mechanical hamsters.
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