The Monetary Authority of Singapore has officially added polyester flower garlands to the national basket of currencies.

Financial advisors now suggest diversifying portfolios by "hanging flower" on nineteen-year-old stage performers who can barely lip-sync.

This new asset class offers zero returns but guarantees a temporary feeling of being a "big brother" in a dark room smelling of cheap cologne.

"I spend my whole month salary on one sash only, then the girl wink at me one time," said self-proclaimed high-roller, Ah Seng.

"Sibeh worth it sia, better than putting money in CPF."

The Ministry of Trade and Industry confirmed that the "Lup Sup" economy is the only thing keeping the GDP afloat while the rest of the country sleeps.

"Last night I buy five thousand dollar mian for the singer, she call me 'darling' for three seconds," boasted regular patron, Jerry.

"Steady lah, tonight I eat grass but heart very song!"