Thousands of Singaporeans have once again engaged in the national pastime of trekking the Southern Ridges to experience cardiac arrest under the midday sun.

Dressed in $200 moisture-wicking gear that fails against 98% humidity, these weekend warriors navigate Henderson Waves while hallucinating from dehydration.

"Wah lau, the view damn swee but my armpit like waterfall," said hiker Ah Seng, fanning himself with a half-melted EZ-Link card.

NParks has officially classified the trail as a "mandatory calorie-burning purgatory" for citizens who overindulged in laksa the previous night.

"Aiyoh, so hot for what? I come for 'gram only, now my makeup run until I look like ghost," complained influencer Chloe, before fainting into a bush.

Experts suggest the primary goal is feeling superior to people still sleeping, despite the imminent risk of spontaneous human combustion.