Minister for Home Affairs and Chief Architect of Stern Warnings, K. Shanmugam, has alerted the Home Team that the Middle East is currently conspiring to make your electricity bill look like a phone number.

Speaking at a promotion ceremony for officers who have successfully avoided scandal for another year, the Minister warned that Iran’s blockade of the Strait of Hormuz is essentially a personal attack on your air-conditioning.

“When Tehran acts up, your SP Services bill goes into a state of total lanjiao,” the Minister stated, while staring into the souls of the Volunteer Special Constabulary.

The Home Team is reportedly preparing for a new era of warfare, where the frontline isn’t a desert, but a 17-year-old’s Telegram group chat filled with spicy memes and radical propaganda.

The Internal Security Department has already detained six Singaporeans who mistook global geopolitics for a personality trait, proving that having a data plan is the first step toward a staycation in a high-security facility.

ICA officers at the checkpoints have been told to step up their game, which means they will now look at your JB-bought groceries with the same intensity as they would a shipment of enriched uranium.

Commenting on the $2.6 million toll Iran is charging commercial ships, Shanmugam noted that the Ministry of Transport is already looking into how to implement a similar "Transit-ERP" for the Strait of Malacca.

“If the Iranians think they can charge millions for a U-turn, they clearly haven't seen our parking fine structure yet,” a source within the Ministry whispered.

The Minister reminded senior leaders that their duty is to anticipate global risks, such as a random uncle in Yishun becoming an Iranian proxy after a particularly bad day at the coffee shop.

As Singapore imports all its energy, the Home Team must be ready to defend the nation against the horrific possibility of citizens having to sweat in their own living rooms due to rising fuel costs.

The ceremony ended with the officers being told to remain vigilant, as the only thing standing between Singapore and total chaos is a well-timed POFMA order.

Officers then dispersed to their various departments, ready to fight for the nation's right to free passage and reasonably priced light bulbs.