The Ministry of Education has announced the introduction of the "A0" grade after statistical data revealed that breathing is now the only prerequisite for an A1.

Officials are terrified that academic standards have dropped so low that even a Golden Retriever could qualify for Raffles Institution.

"Wah lau, last time A1 very power one, now everyone and their grandmother also have," said local mother, Mrs. Tan.

"Now my son get A1, I feel like he just pass PSLE only, damn suay man."

To combat this crisis, the upcoming Mathematics paper will reportedly require students to solve the national debt without using a calculator.

SEAB spokesperson, Dr. Kiasu, confirmed that any student who fails to achieve an A0 will be publicly shamed at the nearest hawker centre.

"You want A1? Go buy from Sheng Siong lah, so cheap already," remarked one examiner while incinerating a pile of distinction certificates.