The Ministry of Education has officially renamed the Junior College curriculum to the "National Sleep Deprivation and Internal Organ Failure Pilot."

Under the new syllabus, students must master the art of weeping silently during General Paper lectures while maintaining a perfect GPA.

Experts claim the transition from secondary school is designed to simulate the trauma of a Victorian-era coal mine, but with more colourful highlighters.

"Wah lau, my Project Work group member stay up until 4am just to change font size for the slides," said one hollow-eyed student.

"I never see my mother's face since Orientation, but at least my rank points looking steady pom pi pi, so can liao," she added while vibrating from caffeine.

A spokesperson confirmed that H2 Mathematics papers will now include questions on calculating the exact moment your soul leaves your body.

If students do not develop a permanent eye twitch by Prelims, the Ministry considers the academic year a total failure.