
MOE To Introduce Mandatory Prenatal Calculus For Five-Month Foetuses
The Ministry of Education has announced that the academic arms race will now officially begin at conception to ensure national survival.
Starting next month, ultrasound scans must confirm the foetus is correctly highlighting ten-year-series model answers or face immediate exile to a non-elite nursery.
"Wa lau, my baby still inside but already got three tuition teachers for Advanced Calculus leh," said local mother Mrs. Tan while duct-taping a textbook to her womb.
Education officials explained that the current Primary 1 syllabus is so pathetically easy it borders on a criminal waste of potential economic growth.
"If the brat cannot do vector geometry before they can even crawl, then they just become a regular person lor, very simple one," noted an elite tutor.
Any infant failing the "Newborn Quantum Physics Entrance Exam" will be stripped of their stroller privileges and relegated to a life of mediocre civil service.
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