The latest batch of first-term MPs has successfully pivoted Parliament House into a $500 million content farm, confirming that the country is now governed entirely by the Instagram algorithm.

One backbencher noted that policy debates are far more efficient when condensed into a 15-second "Get Ready With Me" clip, as the average constituent has the attention span of a concussed fruit fly.

"If I don't use a viral trending audio to explain inflation, my residents just stare blankly into the abyss," the MP remarked while hiring a professional lighting crew for a debate on maritime security.

The "Class of 2025" has prioritized high-stakes issues, such as ensuring pickleball games are played with foam balls to protect the fragile eardrums of unemployed boomers.

For these political influencers, the ultimate goal isn't progress; it’s making sure the national budget matches their aesthetic grid.