NEA has announced that if you want to burn a paper luxury car for your grandfather, you must first navigate a booking portal more complicated than the COE bidding system.

To ensure the deceased don’t experience soul-crushing congestion like the PIE at 6 PM, parking at Mandai now requires a QR code and verified digital confirmation.

Resourceful Sinkies are already trying to Carousell prime Sunday morning slots to kiasu families willing to pay a premium for a better "vibe" with the spirit world.

Ancestors are reportedly unimpressed by the 24-hour visitation hours, noting that being dead is already a full-time job without watching descendants struggle with e-parking apps.

The "Garden of Peace" remains closed during peak hours, proving that in Singapore, even the dead must obey administrative red tape long after their hearts stop beating.