The Singapore government has officially upgraded its "Tray Return" policy from a minor fine to immediate summary execution.

National Environment Agency officers, armed with tactical chopsticks and high-voltage cattle prods, will now patrol hawker centres to ensure every oily plate is handled with military precision.

"I tell you ah, I forgot one time only, now the officer pointing laser at my forehead, damn scary sia," said local diner Tan Ah Kow while sweating profusely into his Laksa.

Those found leaving even a single grain of rice or a used tissue on the table will be sentenced to three years of licking the communal floor grease at Maxwell Food Centre.

"Eh hello! You think your mother house is it? Pick up your tray before the sniper take you out lor!" screamed a nearby drink stall Auntie.

The move aims to maintain Singapore’s reputation as a "Clean and Green" city, mostly by systematically eliminating the "unclean" citizens who cannot follow simple instructions.